When Your Friends and Family Don’t Get It

So you’ve started waking up and realizing you are meant for more. You’re swimming through your spiritual awakening – the moments of divine recognition, the questioning, and the subtle or not-so-subtle desires for something new. And sadly there are people around you that just don’t get it. Have you ever had a friend or family look at you like your head is spinning on its axis or with a bewildered glaze over their eyes because you just passionately and vulnerably shared your viewpoint? Your beautiful awakening is going to have you start switching things up. You might start asking yourself big questions like, “What else is there in this world for me to uncover?” or “what is no longer serving me and needs to change?”.

Changing Your Environment

When we are waking up, what’s really happening is we’re changing our energetic frequency (i.e. changing your environment). You’re beginning to vibe at a whole new level and you are not only feeling the stirrings of subtle shifts within you, but the terrain of your reality is also evolving. And guess what? People are feeling these shifts in you and it’s bringing up a whole lot of feelings in them. As we’re up-leveling our life our environment is going to change. Our energetic environment is made up of the following:

Physical Spaces

Your home or place of work has its own vibe. Our physical spaces can affect how we feel and respond. Have you ever lived in a place with few windows and craved to see more natural light? Or worked in a small cubicle and desired a bigger office space? As you evolve you will find yourself drawn to make some changes to your physical space.


The way we interact with others inspires a range of emotions. If relationships are expansive, positive, and loving they can lift you to a new frequency. Alternatively, if they are suppressive, negative, or difficult they can affect your self-confidence and self-esteem causing you to question yourself often. If you feel as though your friends and family don’t get it, read on for some important tips on how to shift that dynamic.

Utilization of Time

The way you spend your time is at the heart of your energetic environment. How many hours a day do you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future? Every moment of the day you can either focus on how others perceive you or you can choose to focus on moving in the direction of your heart’s desires.

Take a moment to check within. What parts of your energetic environment are shifting? What environments are feeling good, high vibe, nourishing, peaceful and supportive? What environments are feeling draining, negative, difficult, and low vibe?

When They Don’t Understand

The top three things we desire the most as human beings: connection, love and acceptance. These basic and fundamental needs are so strong that we are willing to sacrifice just about anything to feel a part of our inner circle. Have you ever held back saying the truth because it might ruffle some feathers? Have you ever gone along with the status quo just to keep the peace? On your path of evolving like a beautiful butterfly you are going to want to spread your wings and navigating your ascent is an art. In my own journey of awakening, the desire to be understood, accepted and loved, was strong. I felt torn between using my wings and staying connected to my inner circle. I questioned whether it was selfish to take flight. I felt guilty when others voiced their concern and disbelief that flight was possible for anyone, let alone me. Who was I to believe in a life beyond what I had known?

My exterior environment and people’s opinions about my life’s choices and desires became so loud that I almost couldn’t hear my own truth. At times I felt I would be swallowed up by the pressure but even during the most intense times, at a soul level, I knew who I was and where I was headed. I was going to fly. We don’t always have all of the answers nor do we know the exact path forward, but your soul voice has a fortitude that will carry you through if you choose to listen.

Shifting The Dynamic

So let me give you some things that are going to really shift the energy around this in regards to friends and family members and how to keep listening to your soul voice.

Don’t Take it Personally

It’s important to remember that the people in your life are used to you being a certain way. When you start making changes in your life it forces those around you to look inward too which may be uncomfortable for them.

Be Mindful of the Gap

The frequency gap refers to the gap between your energetic frequency and the frequency of those around you. When you begin to change your energy and raise your frequency, it can create a sensation of feeling distant or drifting apart from certain relationships. Gaps are very uncomfortable for both parties. The key to navigating gaps is to allow space. Don’t panic and try to appease the situation. Take some deep breaths and allow there to be some space between you and the other. Whether it is physical space or emotional space, it is important to value yourself and honor your truth. All relationships and things meant for you will always be present in your life. Allowing these gaps gives you room to grow so it’s important to take your time and some space if that feels authentic for you.

Communicate Your Growth

Communication is the golden key to navigating relationships throughout your awakening. Always remember, the other person’s responses are not personal. Your awakening may be challenging for them and they may not have the same level of self-awareness as you do. They may suddenly react or project their discomfort onto you.

Take a deep breath. Stand back for a moment and observe the conversation from a higher perspective. What is the most important thing I need this person to know? How can I communicate clearly and with kindness? What questions can I gently ask this person so I can better understand their true thoughts, feelings and fears. Oftentimes we get frustrated and we react instead of thoughtfully responding. Practicing responsible communication is the gift that keeps on giving and allows relationships the space to evolve right along with you.

Compassion and Grace

Spiritual growth requires compassion. Both for others and yourself. Take a moment each day to acknowledge your amazing self for the journey thus far. This is the most extraordinary adventure to greater self-love and a deeper connection to the universe. Growth doesn’t have to equal pain and discomfort, you can lean into this process and find support. Show yourself the grace you deserve. Make sure you stay connected to joy. Include lots of laughter and surrender to your divine self. She knows the way home to your heart.

Is someone in your life not getting it right now? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.


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1 Comment

  1. Cindy

    Hi Shanna,

    I have been trying to navigate the distance in the vibrational gap in my relationship with my husband since my awakening 4 years ago. How does one evolve into their authentic self whilst still living with an unawakened soul who is on the narcistic spectrum? It would be way too difficult to step away from a 34-year marriage at this point of my life (aged 62) where the financial implications would make it very hard for me to live unsupported. My spiritual awakening and being, although beautiful and welcomed, is just so confusing as I struggle to live in 2 different worlds.


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