How To Stop Judging Yourself
When you are judging yourself, you are sending out negative energy to yourself, which affects the quality of your life. If you are judging yourself, you might be unhappy with some part of your life or feeling as though something is wrong with you. The first step to stop judging yourself is to get to the root of the judgment and change your inner dialogue.
By talking positive to yourself you become the person you want to be and judgment is not able to take hold. Inner judgment is almost always reflected in judgment from others. Judgment is a low frequency patterning, and when you are caught up in that frequency it can feel like judgment is all around you. Changing this dynamic begins from within. You are a beautiful soul meant to blossom on this earth and here is how to stop judging yourself.
Identify the origin of self judgement
Take a booklet with you for an entire week and record what judgments you have about yourself. This will help you become aware of your own inner dialogue. Realize the words you are saying to yourself; they create an impact on your level of happiness, and also on the health of your body. These thoughts most probably originated from a past experience or someone else. If you learned the self-judgments, then you can learn the opposite. You will begin to learn to replace the judgment with positive, self-affirming self-talk.
Study your written judgments
When you have a quiet moment by yourself read your judgments. Think about each one and trace it back to its origins. Most judgments come from a few places. Your past is one of them.
Did someone in your past put you down for the way you looked or behaved? For example, one of my clients grew up with a mother who was very thin and was constantly judgmental of what people were eating and the size of other people’s bodies. Her mother used to tell her that she was “big boned” and would constantly criticize others in her presence, which was devastating to witness.
My client internalized the negativity from her mother and felt ashamed of her own size even though her weight was normal and she was healthy. It was not until others began to praise her and acknowledge her that she realized she had nothing to feel bad about. It was her mother’s own self-image issue that was the problem, not her size.
Having someone you care about shame you whether directly or indirectly can cause an internal judgment. While you cannot control the judgments of other people, you can choose to spend your time around those that build you up. You can heal from past shame that may have been projected on to you. Define your own worth to stop judging yourself.
Discover the root of judgment
Think back through your childhood. See if you can link the judgments you have written down to one of your past life experiences. Was there a person who you looked up to that made you feel inadequate in some way, and that led to the judgment you have been telling yourself for years? Was there a child at school that made fun of you?
Look within your family system to see if there are negative patterns or words that have come from these relationships. Finding the root of childhood hurts is the beginning of healing and the end of self-judgment.
Everyone has an opinion. The only one that matters is your own. You might want to ask yourself if you have been living based on another person’s opinion. Everyone comes from different backgrounds, influences, and family systems. One people’s opinion is based on his or her own life experiences. People’s opinions are very prevalent in the media with the subtle, and not so subtle influence, on how you should look, feel, or act. This is almost a modern disease.
The images the media creates are an illusion from which many people judge themselves. Taking time out from media, limiting exposure to all forms including social media, and focusing within on your strengths and gifts is a great way to stop judging yourself.
Do you look at yourself in comparison to your neighbors or your friends? Do you feel less pretty because of someone else who appears more beautiful? These comparisons can harm our everyday thinking and how we perceive ourselves. Comparing can be exhausting. You are unique with your own gifts and the more you focus on them, grow and share them with others, the more you will be firmly rooted in your worth.
There is danger in making decisions based on a comparison with someone else. The energy of comparison is never joyful. You must come from the spirit God gave you and find the highest energetic expression of self, your soul frequency.
Some people are stuck in patterns of negativity. Negativity is a vortex that can draw you in easily and keep you stuck in all areas of life. What you put yourself around you become. Not only from adopting their behaviors, but also from connecting with their energy. Are there people in your personal or professional life who are negative?
You should protect yourself and your energy from negativity. You have the power to do this by limiting your exposure to those people. It would be unrealistic to say that you can avoid this forever, but you can politely excuse yourself if an interaction turns negative. Check the list of judgments you have written down and see if the root cause is exposure to negative people.
Healing from self-judgment
Once you have identified all the roots of judgment, learn some tools for how to stop judging yourself and start enjoying the freedom of self-acceptance. Here are a few things you can do:
A few moments of silence and meditation helps to clear the mind. For every meditation you do that clears judgment, you open the door to more positive energy.
Fill the time with thankfulness
I am sure you thank people when they are nice to you. Start thanking yourself for the good things you do for yourself. Be nice to yourself. Thank yourself for making good decisions.
Creating new healthy patterns
Instead of judging yourself, form good habits. Create new healthy rituals that make you feel empowered, healthy, and happy. Go ahead; compliment yourself on all of the new rituals that have you feeling amazing!
Be around high frequency people
Commit to being around high frequency people who are doing and saying positive things. They not only teach new and interesting ideas, they also inspire positive thinking in you.
You can heal from judging yourself. When you get to the root cause and learn to focus on the gift that is YOU, your awareness and perspective changes. To stop judging yourself is to spend time around positivity, shift your inner voice to be more supportive, and know your worth. You will begin to heal and start growing more than you can imagine.