As we move into the holiday season, I wanted to take a moment this week to talk about blessings — after all, we have so much to be grateful for!
And yet for a lot of us, the holidays don’t feel like blessings at all. This is the time we’re supposed to feel grateful. But for some, this season doesn’t feel like the normal ‘blessed’ season. This last year also maybe hasn’t felt like a blessing. We’re living through a pandemic, societal upheaval, changing job markets, supply chain shortages (just to say the least).
However you’re feeling — about this past year or this season — just know that you are supported and loved, and your feelings are valid and deserve to be felt and shared.
Sometimes we think we should feel differently, but trying to feel something we don’t actually feel wouldn’t be honoring our authenticity. We talk all year long about living our truth and living authentically. The arrival of the holiday season doesn’t mean we need to suddenly live inauthentically.
So I just want to say, “You’re free to feel however you feel about this year.”
Finding blessings isn’t an act of steamrolling past what’s real and true for us. There’s a misconception that finding blessings is simply ‘looking on the bright side of life’ or ‘sugarcoating’ painful or uncomfortable experiences.
What I’ve found on my own spiritual journey is that not every blessing ‘feels’ like a blessing as it’s happening. And yet, there is a blessing in everything that happens — even if we can’t see it just yet!
Whenever I lean into a blessing, I get the feeling that there’s something better out there.
Blessings lead us in better directions. This could look like a new path, a new opportunity (or a closed one) or even new people or experiences.
Sometimes (especially in the moment) these experiences may not conjure the word ‘blessing’. In fact, they may seem as far from blessings as humanly possible. This often happens during big changes or when something isn’t coming together the way we thought it was going to.
But what we might not be able to accept at that moment is the changing of life’s trajectory. Down that new path of change and confusion and failed expectations may be many new blessings.
It can be hard for us to see the forest for the trees when we are in the thick of these trials and shifts. But once you are down this new path, you will look back and be able to see these.
During times of transformation, we are often called up to let go of certain things or to change in certain ways, and that’s not easy.
Human beings don’t easily adapt to change, and yet we can bring ease to it. We can see this change as a blessing — but we have to actively choose that perspective.
Allowing the “Better” to Come Through
Even though some of these moments might be the hardest you have ever been through, try to look for the blessings or how this may shift your life for the better.
When we look at things this way, we then open up infinite possibilities!
When things aren’t working out, ask yourself, Why isn’t this working? What is trying to come through instead? Where is the blessing in this?
When something isn’t going as planned, maybe it’s because the blessing wasn’t in that plan. Maybe this unexpected turn of events is leading you toward the blessing. Maybe there is something better for you out there, just waiting for you to claim it.
Instead of trying to make something work that isn’t working, ask yourself, What else is out there that wants to come in? Focus and attune to allowing this new thing or this new path to unfold before you.
So where do you go mentally when life throws you a few lemons?
We obviously don’t want to dwell on the thing that’s causing our stress. But there’s also no denying it’s happening, so we can’t ignore it either.
So what do you do?
You feel your feelings. It’s okay to mourn the idea that didn’t come to fruition, the money that wasn’t deposited into your account. Whatever ‘it’ is, it’s okay to give your feelings some space.
But ruminating on these thoughts isn’t helpful, either.
It’s important to remind yourself that better things are coming. If something’s coming apart, something better is coming together (even if it’s not yet clear what that something better is).
Moving on from this so-called lemon is part of allowing that ‘better’ to come through.
This time of year can bring up some pretty sticky feelings. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to stand in our truth and allow space to invite the infinite possibility that’s always out there.
If you experienced any unexpected redirects this past year, make space to mourn them. Then say to yourself, I trust that this is a blessing. I’m allowed to feel how I feel about it, but I trust that this is a blessing. I may feel however I feel about this right now, and I KNOW that this is a blessing.
As soon as you can see a glimmer of what that blessing is, acknowledge it. Honor it, and move toward it.