4 reasons we resists what we most desire

4 Reasons we resist what we most desire

Have you ever wondered why you feel resistance to the things that you desire the most?

Here are 4 reasons we resist our own desires (and what to about it).


1. We need it so much that we repel it

When we truly desire something with our hearts, we easily become attached to it and put it on a pedestal. We believe that we need it in order to be happy – whether it’s a person, some health-related goal or the desire for more abundance.

However, the energetic reality is that when we are trying to force something, it actually tells the Universe that we don’t have it. This state of lack will bring us out of the alignment of the object of our desire.

It’s completely natural to be excited and to desire a certain outcome. However, if we are so attached to our desired outcome it robs us of our happiness. And we become resistant to the present moment.

If you find yourself clinging to your desire, relax. Take a deep breath. And choose to be happy and focus on happy thoughts whether you get what you desire or not. This is very helpful in letting go of some resistance. 

2. There is something inside of us we haven’t looked at

It’s been said that when we are hit with resistance, we are on to something.

The truth is that resistance can be our friend, it depends how we look at it. We can choose to look at resistance as a friend bearing truth about what is holding us back. It can lead us to an understanding of what kind of blockages we hold in our subconscious mind that is keeping our desire from us. 

The truth is that behind the resistance you will find fears, limiting beliefs or both, that you’ve been holding onto for a long time. Maybe your whole life!

In the case of desiring a romantic relationship, we may hold ourselves back believing we’re ‹‹not good enough›› for that other person. We may have old wounds that are longing to be healed that hold in place the belief that ‹‹all relationships end in heartbreak››.

And so naturally, as a protective mechanism, we resist this desire.

Looking at the heavy stuff inside of us feels scary but there truly is nothing to fear. Fear itself is what is scary. Our soul’s desire is for us to let go of everything that stands in the way of us getting what we want. Our soul and the Universe wants the best for us.

Or, as Rumi said so beautifully: “What you seek is seeking you”.

If you are hit with resistance, try showing up to it with curiosity and friendliness.  This is a good opportunity to go within, ask yourself some powerful questions and release some long-held limiting beliefs.

3. We love to be comfortable

As human beings, we are wired to seek comfort. We do what we can to avoid feeling pain, so if we believe there is going to be pain involved with our desire, there will be resistance. 

First off, remember that the belief that it has to be hard is just that. A belief! And we have the power to let go of it at any time.

Secondly, yes. The process of getting what we want may require some discomfort because it involves courageously stepping into unknown territory. A part of us will attempt to make us stay safe and to control everything, and this part doesn’t like stepping out the comfort zone. The truth, though, is that if what we desire required no effort from us at all, we would already have it.

However, our soul knows exactly where we are going, and a huge part of getting what we want is to let go. Let go and trust the Universe when she says, “I’ve got this”.

4. We expect perfection from ourselves

When we truly desire something, our instinct is to become impatient as we want our desire to manifest immediately. This may lead to the feeling of resistance because it puts a lot of pressure on us to take major actionable steps that our body may not be ready for.

An example of this is the desire to be physically fit. If we imagine that taking action in this case will mean eating perfectly all the time and training like a professional bodybuilder, this may feel overwhelming.

Your body may not be ready for this radical change early on and this leads to self-sabotaging behavior or a feeling that our desire is not worth the effort.

When we expect perfection from ourselves we are forgetting that less is more. It truly is about creating change in manageable pieces and taking small steps in the right direction every single day.

It is the consistent action we take that builds the momentum. This will drive us forward and align us with our desire. When we attempt to make too many changes too fast it can create resistance to our desire and make us feel like we don’t want it.

In the case of desiring a physically fit body, maybe the first step is to set the intention to eat a healthy breakfast. Don’t change everything about your diet at once as this is not the recipe for success.

Enjoy yourself and open up

Most importantly, have compassion for yourself. Internalize the truth that everyone feels resistance sometimes yet, it doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t have what you desire.  Resistance is actually an important part of the process of finding your purpose and raising your vibration frequency.

When resistance comes to visit, look at what it has got to tell you. Every day, take small steps in the right direction and celebrate yourself! Learn to rest in the space of knowing that you are infinitely loved, worthy and cared for. 

If you can do this you will realize that the things you desire have been yours all along, simply waiting for you to be able to receive it. Then, resistance will begin to visit less frequently.   




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